Life Thoughts: Being an Introvert

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing well, I've been way too busy with uni and all, haven't had any time for myself lately. But I had a little time for myself today so I decided to update my blog.

Yes, I am an introvert, I've always known I was shy, ever since I was little. But it has come to my attention people don't really understand shyness. People think is an excuse for some people that are antisocial to not talk to anyone. Being shy is an actual thing! I get really upset when people call me antisocial, everybody talks and interacts, unless your not medically capable off. In which case this is not that scenario, I am very aware the fact that I am awkward sometimes, and like to be alone most of the time. I have met so many awesome people over the years, and I'm very grateful for all my friends god has given me. But sometimes it becomes too much, I wake up everyday to go to Uni and spent most of my time doing homework sometimes I need a break for myself! I know everybody feels like that sometimes. And trust me I love hanging with the family and friends once and a while, but I really do enjoy being alone. 

 

On a usual Friday night I mostly spend it, in my bad, eating something sweet and probably watching Anime or YouTube videos. I don't actually feel alone, I have a large member family type, and I'm always surrounded by people and its great, but I do really enjoy some peaceful and quite time with myself. I know this blog post isn't really the best, but I just really wanted to get this out of my system. 

I hope people one day will understand the quite ones, and maybe stop being so hard on them :)

Hope you enjoy it 

xoxo Blue bears :D

Till next Friday 

Life Thoughts: Weight Issues

Hello Everyone! I hope you all are having a great time! :D I missed the Friday post! sorry!

In today's post I will be talking about something that I find very serious and delicate. It has become a global issue, and unfortunately I know a lot of you have been trough it. Weight Issues! It may be a first world problem, but it is very serious and at worst it could end up in death. I know everyone has there own opinion and experience with it, but I'm just gonna give you my point of view. I was Anorexic, for a long time actually. Its still is a delicate subject to talk about it, but I do wanna create awareness. When I was 11 years old, me and my sisters went to a house party with some friends at the time, We ate so much that night, it was crazy! I ate everything in that party, hamburger, pizza, cake, hot dogs, nuggets, brownies! Everything! I remember saying to myself, Alright you cant eat anymore ever again! and it was that day, that night I started a path that would led me to almost losing my mind and my own life. It wasn't the fact that I wanted to loose weight, I just couldn't bare the fact to gain any weight at all. At first I stated to cut every meal, since I got hungry so I became to do the crash diets!, there was a time I only ate once every two days. I ate, but obviously not enough, I'm was a child anorexic! I did once the liquid diet. This period of my life was the darkest and the most useless.       

People don't really understand eating disorders, the don't really consider it a mental disorder or an illness, but it is. People who have an eating disorder are sick and should be treated. Unfortunately people only get worst and many don't ever get help which lead to death or permanent consequences. Anorexia is not something that you get randomly, is the result of a personal, physical or psychological issue someone might be going through. It mostly comes accompanied with another mental disorder. In my experience i was treated for depression and anorexia. I was Anorexic for six years, it was only when I turned 17 years old that I decided to get help. It was probably the best decision I have ever made so far. Anorexia could be something trivial for most people but they don't realize that is a social issue not just personal. When someone calls you fat! is not exactly a compliment, or at least that's not there purpose. Society and the media makes you feel like you need to be a certain weight to fit they're standards of beauty. But you don't have to!, you can make up your own beauty standards. If you don't except yourself, who is? don't wait for someone to tell you your beautiful, believe it, own it. Because when you do, people will notice, and no one could ever destroy your confidence then. Perfection does not exits, I don't even know why the word even exists, don't search for something that would never appear, even better, own the meaning of perfection. Walk into life felling you own it! Nobody can ever take that away from you. You deserve nothing but happiness.

 hope you enjoyed it, have a great one!
xoxo Till next Friday ;)

Life Thoughts: Dealing with Haters

Hello There!! I have been sick for almost a month! with a stomach flu!. That stuff is no joke! is very painful, I have been super busy with Uni also. I'm sorry I didn't post last week!. I'm going to talk about something we all go trough (unfortunately) Haters! My dad thought me growing up, no one is a $100 bill that everyone loves. We all want to be liked by everyone at some point in our life, but that's impossible! there is always going to be that someone that hats you for no reason! and its okay! everyone has an opinion and its okay. When I was growing up, I had a few (haters), I tried really hard to fit in and people didn't understand me, I felt completely different from others!. Even in college I still deal with this issue, but now I just don't care! I learned that if you have someone that loves you it doesn't really matter if you have people that don't! I am blessed with wonderful friends that accept me and love the way I am, awkward and goofy! You will find someone like that one day, we all do. I find hate to be not the opposite of love! You cant hate someone if you didn't love them! otherwise you wouldn't care about them at all! Jealousy come in a lot of forms, haters are trying to get you down! so they don't feel so alone there. If you do have a friend that you feel is not treating you nicely, please confront them. Everyone deserves to be happy, no one can take that away from you! When I feel lonely and hated, I pray! God helps me find the right people I leave it up to him, and thanks to that I found friends that respect my believes and want nothing but to see me happy. If you are dealing with bulling (which we all do) contact help immediately don't just let it happen! Forget about the haters because somebody loves you. Focus on the positive things in life and forget about the rest!

Hope you have a great one!

Till next time xoxo! :) 

Life Thoughts: Panic Attacks and Depression

Hello Everyone, I decided to create a new series of posts called Life Thoughts, where I share experiences and thoughts about a topic. In this case its about two, Panic Attacks and Depression. And I hope this isn't going to be a super long post, but it is important to me.

 I guess I should start from the begging of this life journey dealing this two symptoms. I remember my first panic attack, I was 16 years old and it was in school, in fact I already started blogging by that time. I know exactly what sparked that panic attack, probably my social anxiety levels at that time. I surrounded my self with  the wrong people, that wouldn't care if I was dead or alive. It really got to me, I felt completely alone, even at home I would get really upset. But I didn't know what was going on , months past and I just kept having panic attacks, they would get worst as time past, it was awful. It wasn't until I turned 17 and asked for help. I went trough a lot of problems (emotionally) and physically , because of my problems I wasn't the nicest person to be around with I stated pushing people away, which caused me more anxiety, it was a vicious cycle that lead no where. In April 2012 I had an argument with a  friend at the time. I had a massive panic attack, then the school counselor recommended me to take a break (and I did). It was finals month so I had to go to school, while I was going to school I went to an emergency psychologist. She was nice, she recommended me a rehab center, which I would go when school ended. At first I was really scared and sad. I ended going to rehab for an amount of time, at first I felt awful, but the more the days past the better I felt. The doctor's diagnosis was depression with suicidal thoughts and anorexia ( I don't feel comfortable taking about that yet, but in the future who knows?) I got help to heal, I was so messed up and depressed at the time, I cringe whenever I think of that. Depression was a lonely bumpy ride, where I would have constant mood swings and massive panic attacks anywhere. When I was released I was a completely different person. I felt so much better, it wasn't easy it took me about a year to be myself again. At the end I thank god for helping me get trough depression. Its been two years out of rehab and I can say without a doubt that I'm fully recovered, and I don't remember my last panic attack.I love my rehab experience because it saved me from a path that was leading somewhere dangerous.

If your dealing with something similar, get help. Its a bit scary at first but you will fell better, I promise. Tell someone how your feeling, your mental help is more important that an argument, school, other people or anything else. I should know, I've been there and it was not healthy.

I hope you enjoyed this post  
Till next time :)